Vintage Item no.2.
...is Denis Gifford's 'Monsters of the Movies', published by Carousel in 1977. This book served a similar function, for me, to The Observer Book of Birds. It was my alphabetical checklist of horror movies: my I-Spy of Terror.The online home of author Paul Magrs • Creator of Iris Wildthyme and Brenda and Effie
...is Denis Gifford's 'Monsters of the Movies', published by Carousel in 1977. This book served a similar function, for me, to The Observer Book of Birds. It was my alphabetical checklist of horror movies: my I-Spy of Terror.


Autumn's started a bit early, it feels like, in Manchester. I was there when it switched over - going into town yesterday on the train to see Paul Burston give his reading at Taurus bar. It was a beautiful, blue, augusty day when I set off and the heavens opened when I got to Canal Street. But I don't mind the rain in Manchester. Makes it seem even more like Venice than it already does, racketing up and down Canal Street. Before the reading I went off to do some writing in Via Fossa, one of my favourite bars. Having Guinness in the stormy afternoon, under chandeliers in a gallery made of old church fittings. Writing a good argument scene between Brenda and Effie.

My new cover's up on Amazon, so I guess it's okay to show it here. Hope you like it. Let me know! I can't wait for this one to come out. Brenda book four, already! It gets published on the very day I turn forty. 'Twelve Stories' is published by Salt books at the same time.
Who are all these experts?
Recently I heard a writer give a talk and she was cross about readers’ reviews on Amazon. Who are all these people? These experts? What qualifies them to write this stuff?
They’re consumers, I guess. They’re paying out their cash and that’s all that’s needed to qualify anyone to be an expert these days. Being a consumer gives you the power and the right to say what you want, it seems.
I could see the writer’s point, though. Those Amazon reviews stick around. They stick to your book. When other sites cut and paste the details, these reviews – fond, intemperate, foul – cling on, like a little trail of stardust.
The writer who complained said she didn’t mind when she got reviewed in a Sunday paper say, by another novelist, and they slagged off her work. At least they knew a bit about it. They knew something about the craft. The online-retail-site reviewer doesn’t have to know much about anything at all.
I’m in two minds about all of this, as usual.
On the one hand, reviews online can be really annoying. Hastily typed out, easily damning, thoughtless, silly. Look at the pompous tone of this quote – plucked at random from an Amazon review of a newer book by the man who wrote the ‘Borribles’ trilogy. I just love the casual mock-expertise of this, and the awful mangled metaphor…
‘I have to say this now, but Foxes Oven is as good as anything I have ever read. It may be that MDL had his fingers in too many pies (writing style wise) to forge a reputation as a great novelist, but this is an amazing book.’
I also strongly dislike that middlebrow assumption that different styles and fingers-in-pies means a dilution of a writer’s talent or a waste of his or her energies and potential. That’s exactly what people who don’t or can’t write generally think. (Writers like to keep busy! They have lots of ideas! They have to make a living! Also, they get bored easily and like to try out new stuff, in my experience anyway.)
On the other hand… I’m not sure I want to give reviewing over to the pro’s in the papers, either. Just look how many long reviews of novels are written by the same old farts, parping on about another bunch of old farts. Dancing the two-step down the decades, farting as they go, changing partners, reviewing each other, fart-arsing about, and trumpeting praise for each other…
Or those tiny reviews in the ‘paperback round up’ pages, where someone seemingly reads a bunch of pages at random, copies out the blurb and adds a few smart-arsey remarks…
They’re always saying the books pages are being squeezed smaller and smaller in the Sunday papers. I’m not sure I’m bothered. They usually depressed me anyway. All those weighty and worthy history books. Those serious-sounding novels (‘It’s about exile, memory, loss and desire…’) Those horrible interviews with someone looking pained and cradling their head in their hands.
I suppose I’m thinking about this because I just wrote a review for this blog today, of Anne Tyler’s latest. I published it and thought, ‘WHAT AM I DOING? I HATE REVIEWS!!’
I still don’t know what I was doing. Trying to get to the bottom of why I felt a little nonplussed and let down by reading a new book by my favourite novelist? It wasn’t for a commission or anything. I just wanted to do it.
I once tried reviewing for the papers. I hated doing it and I think I probably wasn’t any good at it. It made me feel jumpy and weird. I got too interested, if that makes any sense, in saying what I really meant, and saying what I really thought.
I do like writing about books, and talking about them, obviously. I like the way blogging and reviews on blogs can become more like a conversation. A bit like a two dimensional salon. Maybe I prefer proper readers, thinking aloud, and talking to each other. I like ideas bouncing around, like in a seminar or a workshop.
Also, when I write in first person, about something that bothers or perplexes me, I’m told it can come across as a bit of a rant. Does it? Is it? Am I banging on again..? Answers on a postcard.

I love Anne Tyler’s novels. I’ve read them all and some of them, such as ‘Saint Maybe’ three or four times. I’ve even hunted out things like ‘The Good Housekeeping Book of Short Stories’ because it had a couple of rare pieces by her.
I love the fact that not a great deal happens and when it does, it happens rather wistfully, and often inbetween chapters. Months, sometimes years pass between chapters and we pick up with the characters when they’re being older and a little bit (maybe not) wiser. And when we see them they’re doing things like cutting the grass or having a terse, difficult family visit or an argument in a supermarket aisle.
She often has these diffident, quiet men at the centres of her books. Often they’re men who’ve had to grow up early for various reasons, and have had responsibility thrown upon them. They have other, wilder siblings, who dither in and out of the action. There are often middle-aged women, mothers and wives, who get up one day and walk away from their lives. And there is usually a ditzy, slightly unkempt younger woman who turns out to be the most capable one of all.
As the years have gone on (she started publishing in the mid-sixties) Tyler’s characters have grown older with her. Looking back to the books of the 60s and 70s, some of those people were having rackety lifestyles: they were making life up as they went along. Nowadays she’s less interested in the hapless young and is mostly writing about more sedentary older people. Or the younger people from back then, thirty, forty years on. Hence Liam, the 61 year old would-be philosopher in the new novel, ‘Noah’s Compass.’
Like other men in Tyler’s books – especially Macon in ‘The Accidental Tourist’ – he’s a man who has drifted away from his family, his home, his ties-to-life. Even his memories are eluding him. He has a chance of coming back to life, of returning to the thick of it, when he hooks up with the younger, eccentric ‘professional rememberer’ Eunice. He overcomes his embarrassment at her inexpert attempts at being herself – and falls for her.
Of course, I love being in Tyler’s world. I always do. She writes scenes of toe-curling, gut-churning domestic embarrassment and unsentimental warmth that I envy and adore for their simplicity and their truthfulness. But… this one book leaves me a little bit hollow, I think. I feel like we have arrived at the end of the story. This is the epilogue to the great long family romance of these characters.
We get a parade of tricky daughters and curious ex-wives and so on… but only in passing. There’s a lovely flashback to the doomed first wife, back in the 70s… this pale creature who let it all go to hell. But we only see glimpses of these dramatic highpoints. Tyler’s books use to let us dwell in the past a bit more. She used to take us there. Plonk us right in the middle of it. Now we’re just picking up the echoes.
At the end of the book Liam has a memory suddenly come back to him. One that makes him laugh. An absurd Christmas morning scene, back from when his wife donated their tree and all its ornaments to a neighbour. All through the book he’s been wanting his memory back. He’s been adrift (hmmm… and the title came over a bit pushed too, I think). So he gets a memory that he isn’t expecting – and it’s a happy one, and a lovely note to end on.
I guess it’s all about not raking up the shitty memories and being glad the scars heal up… which is laudable. She’s telling him – and us – it’s better to move on. But I liked it better when she was sending us back to the start and bringing the past to turbulent life all around us.


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